When will parents be thrilled at the idea of inter-caste marriage to the extent of bragging about it to their relatives?
Until my children?
I’m not going to go into the history of the Indian caste system and tell you how thousands of people everyday are on the receiving end of unfathomable bias, because don’t you prefer a 1.5 hours Hollywood movie over a 3.5 hours Bollywood movie. I do!
Sometime last week, I made the mistake of telling my parents about my “affair” with a man belonging to another caste without drinking adequate water to compensate for the tears. Remember what Charlie Harper says in two and a half men – “dehydration is the enemy”. I told them on Tuesday, so practically nobody has slept for almost 10 days now.
It had all the elements of any Ekta Kapoor TV show minus the heavy jewelry, makeup and a kickass bungalow –
– everybody voicing their concerns at the same time
– tears flowing and accumulating on the freshly vacuumed floor
– dad pacing back and forth from time to time
– voices raising and sometimes hands.
I consider myself to be an understanding human always putting myself in other people’s shoes and empathizing with their situation (we need more people like me yawl). Granted, I should have sucked it up and expected some heat for apparently “shattering” the family’s legacy and “pulling the plug” on my parent’s future happiness but to be miserable after having actually seen my mom breakdown and cry in my arms is the unadulterated hard reality.
My dad tried it all. He started with an emotional pitch, then went on to social/cultural issues, slowly making his way to scientific studies (he’s a scientist, so duh!) and ending it with a sigh of disbelief.
To think that I have lived all these years inside a compressed bubble that allows only oxygen to get in and carbon dioxide to get out, and finally end up being labelled as an ungrateful daughter for eternity, helps me finally understand what YOLO really means. Do what you think is right, when you think is right and face the music if it backfires. Took me long enough!
Now time just stands still, refusing to move forward and provide clarity. Leaving early from work, which was once a boon now suddenly seems like a curse (but that doesn’t stop me sir, in case you’re reading this).
What’s funny is that although I have officially told them about my boyfriend-soon-to-be-husband/plus one, every time a conversation comes up about it, I have to reiterate the entire thing all over again. It’s like watching the same episode 5 times.
Anger, disappointment, betrayal, shame and (not really and, there’s so much more) resentment from parents should be easy to accept and forget as long as it’s all worth it and I get my regular happy endings 😉
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