Call me maybe!

———–>>>> Text(ing) has not just become a verb but also a necessity in our life. Yeah, even for you. Stop pretending. Right from chatting with strangers who became your “friend” on Facebook or Twitter to saying the words “I love you”, for the very first time, we all need that “artificial mediator” to break the ice.

I was actually torn between whether to write in favor of texting or against it. Initially, I depended heavily on my texting apps because I get awkward as hell to talk to anyone on the phone (emphasis on anyone). No offense to the 2 people who call me once in every 3 months, but the only reason why you and I are still friends or better yet, not deadly enemies is due to these infrequent calls because if I have to keep saying, “what else?” every 5 seconds just to fill those awkward pauses, which I spend estimating your breathing cycle, then we “need” to talk – It’s not you, it’s me, only this time I really mean it. My awkwardness is so loud and evident that it has reduced my incoming calls to just these 2 people, 0 being my ultimate mission in life.

That was me 3 months ago. Now I have a new mission in life and thankfully that does not include writing good blog posts (pheww..). You want to know why money saving apps have lost it’s appeal to me? Read on.

Texting has it’s own language (coz v r kool ppl) and a different method of interpreting it – What normally is intended to be sweet and playful actually comes across as offensive and rude. When you have some free time to kill, I suggest you read a book, listen to music or even consider counting stars, before you start a conversation on WhatsApp and end up talking about issues that should have gone to the grave with you. Moments like these, I just wish you learnt a little something from our inspiring Prime Minister. The quantum of drama that has followed after the introduction of apps such as WhatsApp, WeChat and what not beats any “saas-bahu” TV show you have ever seen put together. Don’t even get me started with the “last seen” feature that has actually caused problems between people who otherwise would seem “stable” enough to look past it and I don’t blame them either. Who needs to know when you were last online on WhatsApp? Has our lives come down to that already? Sure, it’s pathetic in a conventional, “I hate my life” kind of way but this is just pushing it further south.

Free communication does not imply forwarding ridiculously long messages about love, friendship or some other emo crap to everyone on your contact list at one shot, which is possible, thanks to “broadcast message” feature. Can anyone volunteer to go smack the genius who came up with this idea in the first place? Oh wait, you could do that on your way back from the douchebag’s place who created the last seen feature. Okay fine, you can go the day after you kick the creator of WhatsApp in the nuts. Happy?

Now coming to the last piece of heartache in my life – The group chat. I usually keep my phone in my pocket at work and it just wouldn’t stop buzzing all day long. If you think that it’s anything close to what Katherine Heigl felt in The Ugly Truth movie, then you’re dead wrong my friend, ‘cos that would have been a win-win situation all the way. When I finally get around to checking the group, it has 250 messages worth of conversation happening, which I DO NOT intend to be a part of. Why can’t I have this free app just to catch up with friends occasionally, by which I mean after the pre-decided threshold of number of months.

Something to take away from the aforementioned rant – Don’t spend your life typing away messages. It is nothing less of an addiction with the exception that it is socially acceptable. Although, you are able to express yourself minus the awkward pauses, but when it comes to important matters, I suggest you risk it. I know one person who will – ME.

So, call me maybe!

PS – You would think I was paid for this bad publicity ‘cos there’s no such thing as bad publicity but I wasn’t, although now that I think about it I should be. WhatsApp people, you owe me!!!

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