Pro-Tip #1 – The Love Manual – The key to pressing all the right buttons and avoiding all the wrong

Disclaimer – This post is about love and what people in love should do and not do (mostly not do). I, personally haven’t experienced “love”, which is why it makes me an expert on the subject.

Let’s begin.

First up;

Ladies – Have you ever been so madly in love that it almost seems like a crime to stop and think if this guy that you’re crazy about is in fact your “dream guy” and if not dream guy, then at least a safe bet? If you have, then I’m sorry to inform you but you’re a big-time narcissistic bitch, who isn’t perfect either. So get that head out of your ass and pay attention, cos it’s time for you to be HIS dream girl (for a change).

1) Be a girl (very important). I know it can be fun to get down and bro it out, but at the end of the day he wants someone who can talk football and still rock a pair of stilettos.

2) Don’t make him go to the store to buy tampons for you love. I know he’ll do it cos he loves you and shit but please don’t make him give that Agni pariksha. Pretty please.

3) Don’t ask him –

“How many kids do you want?” especially when you’re holding someone else’s baby in your arms and that baby looks all cute and chubby.
“Does this look infected?”.Give him sometime to build a bubble around him that he is dating a “perfectly put together” girl. Don’t go bursting it, at least not for the first few months.
“Does this make me look fat?”. Girl, they go through a certified training to always answer that question with a HELL NO! Ask your girlfriends instead and if they say it does make you look fat, then wear it.
“Can I come to guy’s night this time?” Y’all really need to hear this. His friends may like you and you may also like them. You can even drink beer with the best of ’em but if you even as much as think it might impress your man that you can hold your own during guy’s night, you’re WRONG!!!! A guy’s night isn’t the same as a hang out night with friends. This is the time for him to be a neanderthal, who wants to burp and talk about latest sexual exploits — the usual “locker room” stuff — without any women around as a distraction (especially you). Every so often your guy needs to recharge his testosterone without you sitting there as a silent reminder that he had spent the last weekend painting your toenails.Got it?
“Is that it?” (if you know what I mean)
4) Just cos he is cool enough to tell you who his childhood friends are, don’t go stalking them on Facebook. That’s just creepy unless creepy is what he loves about you, which will make you’ll a perfect match.

5) Lastly, try not to be “YOU” always. Take chances.

Next;

Fellas – Women are not so complex as you think. We are a simple specie who experience a lot of biological changes, who think with their hearts, who are ever multi-tasking, who give priority to trivial issues, who can’t let go of the past, who are ever comparing, who are extremely self-critical, who expect a lot and who forever craves chocolate. See, not so complicated. Now wipe that smirk off your face and be THE dream guy for her.

1) Whenever you face a dilemma between watching the Wimbledon final and taking your girl for a fancy meal, take her to the damn meal and get it over with cos it’s really not worth listening to her say, “You love Wimbledon more than me” with a sad face. You will have to lie unnecessarily.

2) Always compliment her when it is apparent that she has made an effort to dress up for you.

3) Never (ever) compliment her pretty friend. Ever.

4) When a girl tells you, “I love you”, never reciprocate with just a, “me too”. We all know you love yourself a little too much some nights but say it back. It makes a difference.

5) If you guys are planning for a movie, it is a given, you’re going for the corner seats. I mean, if you’re not going to take advantage of being with your girl in a dark room, even cupid can’t help you bro!

6) Say yes to a chick flick once in a while. Not every gal is as cool as me y’all.

7) Cook her a meal and get lucky.

8) and oh yeah, know when she gets her period. Period.

Remember, it’s not always about you. It’s SOMETIMES about your partner. God bless your partner.

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12 thoughts on “Pro-Tip #1 – The Love Manual – The key to pressing all the right buttons and avoiding all the wrong

  1. Hilarious post! 😀
    I don’t crave chocolate…infact, I hate it! I I love icecream, if or was upto me I would eat it for every meal of the day but I might need something spicy in between. Mango icecream/lassi/juice/shake is the best….yea, typical indian I guess 😉

    Like

  2. Hi – This is my first visit to your blog – landed here from Jairam sir’s blog.
    Spellbound 🙂 will keep visiting often and a really nice post – hope everyone reads and understands 🙂
    Thanks,
    Mahesh

    Like

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