Pro-Tip #2 – What NOT to do at the movies.

I saw the movie Hercules today, which was AWESOME btw, but what struck me the most were the types of people around me and how annoying they can be (surprise surprise). This is not a movie review obviously, it is more like a movie watching experience review, so to say.

I make it a point to go to the movies every weekend, irrespective of new releases. That should qualify me and entitle me to write ‘movie buff’ on my resume under hobbies/interests/things your parents disapprove of (dad says, “why waste time when you could be reading about the many different ways of saving tax”). So yeah, coming back to the topic : What NOT to do at the movies –

1. Don’t be late – I like to be punctual. Well, scratch that, I like to be before time (learned that from my appa of course). So I plan my commute accordingly and reach the theater at least 10 minutes before time and take my seat (5 points to the dork). What I don’t appreciate is the 20 something year old guy and his “gang”, who decide to ruin the first 5 minutes of the movie by standing in front of me and flashing their fancy cell phones, trying to figure out their seat number and making their way to it, right when the gigantic lion takes a plunge on Hercules and the audience goes “whoa!” in chorus. STRIKE ONE.

2. Don’t bring your babies – These little people cry. Its not their fault actually. Parents who decide to get their babies to a movie like Hercules, where a strong-muscular-shirtless man is parading around in a cool head gear made of a lion’s head, where blood and death is a common sight, I have 2 questions for you – was your childhood so bad or do you intentionally want to scar your child for life??? Its not even a continuous ‘get it out of your system’ cry. It comes and goes and its annoying to the point that it makes you want to pull out your hair and stuff it in his/her mouth. STRIKE TWO.

3. Don’t sit next to me – I have the worst luck when it comes to people sitting next to me, so I resort to always booking the aisle seat. Easier to deal with one than two (I go alone to the movies because for the umpteenth time, I’m a loner). In all my years of watching movies, I have sat next to them all –
a) the stupid friend who requires an explanation for everything that has happened in the movie so far scene by scene .
b) the obese guy munching away into his 10 years of ragging and bullying that awaits him. Another addition to team forever alone.
c) couples who make out and don’t even have the courtesy to keep it quite. Its Hercules for Christ’s sake, not a Nicolas sparks book to movie adaptation. STRIKE THREE.

If you are a type described above, do us all a big favor and wait for the torrent of the movie to come out. Pretty please?

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24 thoughts on “Pro-Tip #2 – What NOT to do at the movies.

  1. Hahaha.. I second everything you’ve said here! Some people just know how to ruin the whole movie watching experience. I lived in a country where kids below a certain age were just not allowed for movie. They should really consider doing that here. And the late-comers… Better not get me started on those. Btw..Brava on watching movies alone! I’ve done a whole bunch of stuff by myself.. But the movies ..not yet! I just end up not watching a movie in the theater if I have no company. Ive missed quite a few cause of this. Maybe someday I’ll muster up the courage! 🙂

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    • Yeah you should definitely give it a try. Watching movie alone has many benefits. You can watch whichever movie you want to, you can go for an odd timing show of your choice and you save a lot of money and time when u go alone because if you go with a bunch of people, you will hang out and get something to eat after whereas I like to head home as soon as the movie gets over and take a nap 😛 I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for reading, liking and commenting 🙂

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    • Hahaha right cos’ those homosapiens don’t annoy me. As long as my attention is not diverted to anything happening in my surrounding, everybody around me is safe 😛 🙂

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  2. Which is why I like to go alone for movies at times.. Some bloody friend will come late, and I will have to get up and go to the entrance with his ticket.. and I will have missed Batman get kicked by Catwoman..
    Then there are those people go all yap yap on the phone.. the wooorst
    someone maing out next to you is awkward.. -_-

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  3. Right
    I’m punctual – Tick
    I do have a kid, but we very rarely take him to the movies. Definitely not Hercules – Tick
    My wife and I don’t make out in the theatre (well, not anymore :P) – So tick for that ? 😛
    Guess what, I guess we wouldn’t bother you too much if we were seated next to each other at the movies.
    Interesting post, indianhumor.

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    • Hahaha…yeah I’m sure I would prefer you and your wife sitting next to me than the other specimens I mentioned in my post..thanks for reading and commenting…much appreciated 🙂

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  4. Hello ‘serious gal’ 🙂
    Nice post, especially on the child thingy. I rarely watch movies due to time constraints but I have real movie fanatic friends who watch a show or two every weekend. Well now I know one more of them.
    Regarding couples, I really think there is a problem of security outside, their parents friends, our goon cops and hence you can’t blame them. It would be really rude of you. You should leave the corners for them 😛 *kidding*
    Happy to see your post. Tc.

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    • Hahah I never take the corner seats…I always get the aisle seat so technically they are being the rude ones sitting next to me and eating each other’s face during an intense scene…thanks for reading dude! 🙂

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      • Oh yeah, so it’s not your fault. Forgive them for their trespass.
        I guess you had eyes on them too, so on the whole you watched 2 movies instead of one. And that too paying for just 1 ticket and you still blame them, grrrr.. 😛
        Enjoy, God bless 🙂

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  5. Point 4. Don’t take selfies during the interval because I don’t want to intentionally photo bomb you, and neither did I just happen to be there. I bought that seat, you know. Just like you.

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  6. Awesome post!!
    You missed one speciment ( at least in my case).. The wanderors !! They constantly go out to fill their stomach and to empty their stomach..( the cycle goes on ..) urghhhh it’s so annoying!! And I’m like you, I ALWAYS prefer the aisle seat, but then I have to keep moving for these donkeys who can’t seem to make up their mind!!!

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