It’s raining men!

The season of smelly feet and wet t-shirt contests has arrived. It sure did take its own sweet time, but it is finally here!

Monsoon.

Why do so many people love this yucky season?

Granted, they are relieved by the cool breeze and the fact that after sweating 50% of their body weight, they are more than happy to replace these salty excretions with rain drops. The feeling is good, I’ll give it to you, but the feeling is short lived. Just like everything good my boss has to say about me, which is followed by everything bad.

I love Bombay. Always have. Always will, but I kid you not, Bombay is not the place to be during the monsoon season. Crowded trains that come once in every 45 mins filled with angry young men and women who look for a chance to pick a fight because apparently wet hair does that, can transform you into a raging-cursing machine. Who knew getting wet can have other consequences (if you know what I mean).

The humidity levels shoot up, your hair gets frizzy and everything around you turns into a disgusting-brown-shitty like liquid. I’m not saying this season doesn’t have its perks. You could get malaria and take a month off from work or you could get leptospirosis and die -both equally appealing. Well, who am I kidding, dying is way better!

Don’t call me a sadist just yet, there’s more.

Do you want to instantly lose weight? If so, then I suggest you have pani puri from Churchgate or drink tap water from some downgraded restaurant. Result -Diarrhea and 10 kgs gone just by sitting on the pot.

Flooding and water logging that leads to excessive traffic and eventually spending the night inside your car without food and warmth. What an adventure, right?

Jokes apart, I used to love this season when I was a kid because this is the only time you could jump in a puddle of water and play with your friends during the first rain after getting your parent’s consent and I loved it every time. Every year. Until I was all grown up and came face to face with the filthy, disease prone reality full of people that existed outside my colony.

Filthy and disease prone, I can live with but people?

I CANNOT!!!!

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