A typical scene in any multinational company :
Employee – “Sir, may I leave for the day?”
Boss *looks at the clock* – “It’s only 6:00 P.M. Did you finish that report I asked you to?”
Employee – “Yes sir.”
Boss – Sigh. *looks around desperately for 5 mins and then gives an evil grin* “Take a look at this report done by a new joinee. You will find mistakes so finish this up and then you may leave”.
Employee – *looks at the 200 page report, imagines a parallel universe where he can beat the shit out of his boss and get away with it and then finally orders dinner*.
People who are unemployed – We need to talk.
Working late or better yet sitting late in office has become almost a fashion in our “corporate culture”. If you think that by planning the work assigned to you in such a way that you are able to finish it and leave on time will fetch you “employee of the year”, then you have a long way to go, my child.
There has been a drastic change in perception. Earlier, people working late were perceived to be inefficient and lazy but now, if you’re not working late, then you’re clearly doing something wrong. This concept of working late is taken to a whole new level in our corporate culture. You can even say that your performance appraisal is dependent on the number of hours you put in on a daily basis. Whether they are productive hours or not, who cares! As long as you show up to work before sun rise and sit in office past sun set, you will get your “Shabaash” (appreciation) from your boss everyday, that you so secretly crave for. But if you even as much as think to pack up by 6 P.M, then you can kiss your yearly increment and promotion goodbye.
Ever since this tradition of sitting late has crept into our lives, our entire routine and work style has gone to the dogs –
Earlier, you reported to work on time, planned out the entire day in an efficient manner and implemented the same, allowing you to leave office on time and have a life.
But now, knowing that you will be working late anyway –
– you report to office an hour late or maybe two depending on how gullible your boss is;
– you accommodate time for a Facebook status or a tweet about the fine weather before getting started with your actual work;
– you break for a long lunch and an even longer walk after because, “aaj late hi toh baitney wale hai yaar” (we are going to sit late anyway);
– you round up everyone for a tea break at 4 P.M. cos chai toh banta hai boss;
– you realize that the low growling sound that you’ve been hearing is in fact coming from your stomach so hunger makes a dramatic entry at 6 P.M (like clockwork) and since you are not “allowed” to leave in the next 30 mins decide to waste them instead at the canteen swallowing everything edible.
It’s past 6:30 P.M. and I don’t know why but there is a sudden change in the atmosphere. Maybe they must have added some pot in the brownie, but people begin to act really unprofessional. You would come across two sets of groups now. One who think it is acceptable to work with their ear phones on, listening to music and the other who begin talking to their colleagues/clients louder than usual. People change after that cut-off period. They crack lame jokes and expect you to laugh on them and if you don’t, then you apparently have an “attitude” problem. While all this happens, you receive a call. You know it’s pretty darn late when your parents decide to call you at work and give you an ultimatum to either leave that instant or stay there for the rest of the night. And if you’re a girl, especially a tambrahm girl then be sure to add the excessive over reacting followed by a couple of “ayyos‘” after the ultimatum. That is when you leave for the “day” and that is how you earn your “day’s” pay (ka Ching!).
The definition of “work” is –
“An activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result”.
Yeah, so nobody does that past 6 P.M. Every minute spent after is all PRETEND and god knows, we do that the best. So next time you hear your friend saying, “Listen, I was working in office till 2 A.M last night”, just know that she wants to be acknowledged for her impeccable pretending skills.
And you want to know what the worst part is? – you still have to do the same massive amount of work that makes you want to be a suicide bomber, meet the same ridiculous deadlines and for sure not have a life, just an existence.
So, do you still want to be a freeloader and mooch off your dad?
I thought so!
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