Profound bullshit!

I feel trapped. Cornered in a dark place with the walls coming in.

I’m sure many of you have regretted certain decisions in life and only pretend to not give a single fuck about it to please your massive sized ego. But we all have our moments. Including me.

I have done things that have driven people away from me. I have been accused of suffocating the life out of someone with just a “hi”. There have been breakups, misunderstandings, blame game, rona dhona (crying), breakups, heated confrontations and did I say breakups! but at the end of the day, if you asked yourself, “was it all worth it?”, what would be your answer?

In my opinion, I think no relationship is worth losing. Period.

We, human beings are really funny species. We feel the need to please others and get their approval in everything we do. And when we don’t we hold a grudge against them, subconsciously attacking their every move.

I have lost many “BFFs'” and potential “BFFs'” in the past 2-3 years and I am unable to identify the root cause of it. I am the type of person who digs and analyses everything, till I find some logic or explanation for the events that have transpired that has led to the tragic ending, so not being able to locate the source fails to give me that closure that I desperately need to move on.

Was it me? Was it her? Was it us?

Questions I keep asking myself to which my answer most of the time is, “it’s gotta be her” (I too have a massive sized ego yawl!)

Its crazy the amount of effort that goes into creating a relationship, let alone get it to work for more than 10 minutes. And oh yeah having a loving, caring and never ending relationship with your parents doesn’t count because they are your parents. They have no choice.

I can’t speak for others but I am an extremist (in practically everything that gets my attention). To illustrate –

When I first signed up on Instagram, I must have uploaded like 30 pics in a span of 2 hours;
When I got into reading, I spent like 5 grand in a local book fair and bought novels that are eating dust as I type and realize what a fool I am;
When I joined twitter, I live tweeted every second of every English premier league game played for a period of 2 months. (Hash tag) loser.
……
I think I’ll stop now, you get the picture, right?

As for people –
If I care for someone I will smother them with love, compliments and expensive gifts (emphasis on expensive) ;
but if I start to dislike them, then they will be on the receiving end of “cerseiness” (and not just any cerseiness, the season 4 kind).

I don’t know but I have a feeling that this extreme nature of mine has been the cause of failed relationships but I don’t know right!

What’s the point of all these words, you ask??……

Well, you got me!!!

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10 thoughts on “Profound bullshit!

  1. This reminds me of Dany’s line “They live in my new world, or die in their old”
    It’s natural for some people to be either devoted or disengaged, and not have a midway.

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    • Uhuh..I hear you…I can’t help myself from getting carried away with one thing or being least interested with another. Having said that and to keep the game of thrones reference continuing, I wish there was a Jorah Mormont in my life who would convince me to take the middle ground…(he did convince her to give those fucking masters a choice) 🙂

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      • And we know what happens with Jorah.. From a trusted advisor with whom she could discuss everything, she ends up ordering him to leave lest she kill him.
        Maybe you need a Daario?

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      • That’s wasn’t right yaar…I mean sure he was spying on her initially but after he saw how true of a queen she was, he became truly loyal to her…I still want Jorah 🙂

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  2. Am I not commenting on almost all of your posts ? 😛
    I can relate this to myself in many ways. I feel trapped by emotions and some ego.
    I have a feeling that I will comment on your next post ‘Tamil TV’ also 😛
    Peace:)

    Like

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